Summer worries
As I wrote about a few weeks ago, it’s easy to have big goals for summer projects, and even easier to feel like you are falling short. Summer is supposed to be a time to relax, but often more worries can emerge as routines change, priorities shift, and there may be fewer regular obligations to anchor your days. I have been meeting with a few students these days and see this trend. They had big plans, but oh no, it’s already the end of June! Summer is short. I can relate. It’s the last week of school for my kids and there are so many “special” things I have to help them remember. All of our routines are changing as the intense summer baseball season gets underway. I have so many things to do but I am not sure where to start, and it’s unclear which things are priorities for other people. Meanwhile it’s time to get my car inspected, have all the doctors appointments, etc. The to-dos are never-ending. How can I fit it all and stay on track?
One thing I have noticed is that when you get off track it can be easier to hide in the summer. There might not be anyone there to say, hey, you aren’t doing the things you planned to do, are you ok? One of the students I have been meeting with has been having this issue. He wanted to meet regularly to work on some communication goals, but then last week he said he was sick. I had a feeling he wasn’t sick. Turns out he got busy working on some other projects, got worried about those, and then didn’t want to disappoint me by not making more progress on the goals he had with me. I talked to him about the other projects he was worried about, and helped him see how really any of the work he is doing could be tied back to his communication goals, and that there was no need to hide or go into a shame spiral.
His case and issues that have come up with other students got me thinking about mentoring relationships and how hard it can be to ask for help. You are likely making some wrong assumptions about your advisors’ expectations, and what you think you can share and not share. How can you avoid hiding, and be upfront with where you are and where you need help? Accountability partners and advisors are here exactly for this purpose; the key is being able to talk openly about needs, challenges, and potential solutions.
So, what can you do to feel like the summer was a “success”? For me I have a couple of important projects I know I have to finish. And I can, and I will, if I work on them steadily. But I also need to enjoy time with my kids. No matter what is happening, this is that precious in-between time, before they age up (they start high school and junior high next year!) and time keeps racing by. This is the only summer they will be 12 and 14. So if those are the two core goals, I have to fit in all the extras around them. I know I can! I will have to check in with myself and regroup as needed.
Are you having similar worries? Do you need someone to say, hey, you aren’t doing the thing you wanted to do, how can I help? I am here.
