Thankful
My Boy Scouts, getting ready to deliver all the wreaths they sold to raise money for their troop
It’s Thanksgiving week, a season with an extra focus on gratitude. I believe in the power of naming what you are grateful for, and reminding yourself, as it can be too easy to take what you love for granted. I keep a gratitude journal, which helps me stay positive and in touch with my values. I make a point to tell friends and family I appreciate them whenever it make sense, also because I know how nice it is to hear that I am appreciated. Call your mom! Text a friend you miss. Send your mentor a card. Thank a teacher. You may think they know how you feel, but it’s always good to name it, and these connections can become even stronger. Being connected and grateful for what you have seems like the best fortification against the hard things life may throw at you. There are many rituals that can help you stay in touch with what you appreciate, whether you meditate, say some form of grace before a meal, or if you, like me, have a tradition of saying what you are thankful for during Thanksgiving dinner.
Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday. I have vivid memories of taking off to Raleigh, NC with my mother on the Wednesday. She loved Thanksgiving and treated it like a chance to take a breath before the end of the semester. We’d drive across the James River bridge and be free for the long weekend. She was going to see her friends and taking me to be with my dad and stepfamily for yummy southern Thanksgiving. As soon as I got there I started helping in the kitchen. Making the cornbread dressing (stuffing), and the good-natured arguing about the best dishes and what to make were my favorite parts. One year my stepmom forgot to put sugar in the pumpkin pie! I don’t think anyone will every forget that.
Thanksgiving is not a religious holiday, not really commercial, and it’s open to everyone. It’s an excuse to make your favorite foods, there are no presents expected, and the goal is to spend time with loved ones, family or not, and to appreciate your life and the people in it. Now that I have my own family we do our own Thanksgiving, make what we want to make, and do what we want to do. This year we are fortunate to be sharing the day with our wonderful neighbors. Thanksgiving can be a big dinner, a small dinner, a “friendsgiving,” or whatever you want it to be. It’s our American holiday, in the best sense of that word. I’ve always enjoyed sharing my take on it with international students, and that I don’t really care for turkey either, that’s not the point.
This week also marks one year since I learned that my position at Harvard was being eliminated. We got back from the annual POD conference for teaching and learning professionals, full of ideas, energized by time with colleagues, only to be told about a restructuring and group layoff. It was such a shock. In fact, the last thing I was doing at work before I knew this was happening was writing thank you cards at the annual “giving thanks” open house. The timing felt cruel (your life as you know it is over, happy Thanksgiving!). But also, what better time to reflect on everything you have to be thankful for than during a major life transition?
A year later it’s a good opportunity to take stock of everything I appreciate from this year of change. I’m thankful for the opportunity to step back and explore what matters to me in this chapter of my life. I’m thankful for my health, and that I can run again. I’m excited to run in a community turkey trot with family and neighbors on Thursday. I’m thankful for my family and friends, especially my kids, who are always my best teachers. I’m thankful for students and colleagues who have let me know the impact I had on them and on their professional and personal journeys. I’m thankful my best colleague helped me build Polished Owl, and for the expertise I have and everything I have learned that I’ve been able to share here. Keep learning and growing, everyone. And Happy Thanksgiving!
